If You Need To Ask For Help

Here are my best answers today for the questions you posed yesterday:

Q.  If you need to ask for help and see that there is nothing that you could possibly offer, what do you do?

A.  You ask for help anyway.  The help you receive today may not benefit the one who helps you, but it does enable you to help others in the future, so please do ask for help.  Indeed, as your mother's life demonstrates, it is in asking for help that one actually may help the one who provides the help by allowing them to share a part of themselves with you.

Q.  If someone wants to see you but you do not want to see them what do you do?

A.  It depends upon the circumstances.  However, for most personal relationship situations, I have found that it is best not to see that person.  Seeing that person can only lead to "false hopes" and "prolonged pain".  Once a relationship is over, it is advisable to not encourage the other party.

Q.  If you want to see someone and they do not want to see you what do you do?

A.  Do not see them.  Seeing them will only give you "false hopes" and "prolonged pain".  A relationship that develops from such sentiments is likely to be abusive.  You deserve better than that.  Continue to search for someone who wants to "see" you.

Q.  If no one thinks it is possible should you think it is possible?

A.   In your heart you can feel it is possible, but your heart can mislead you.  Look at the reality of the relationship.  Was there a mutual level of attraction?  Was there a mutual desire to be together?  Was there an equality in the relationship?  If not, it may mean that one party is taking advantage of the other party.  That is an abusive relationship and it should not be condoned.

Q.   When should you suppress your feelings and when should you express them when dealing with matters of the heart?

A.   You should suppress your feelings when expressing them would injure someone, including one's self.  You should express them when there is a reasonable expectation of reciprocity.

Q.   Do nothing... wait...strive to improve yourself.

A.    "Do nothing."  Life is too short.  Be proactive in seeking out your happiness.  Do not "Do nothing."   "Wait."  At the end of every relationship, there should be a period of mourning.  The period may be as long as a year.  For some, it may be longer.   However, I advise not to wallow in the mourning for too long.  Life is short, get up... get out... enjoy life as fully as you can now.  "Strive to improve yourself."  Always.  Mentally, physically, and spiritually, always strive to improve yourself.   

Hope all of this helps.  Please feel free to ask more.